A pinch of patriotism

When Magellan and his bunch of men in tighty-whities decided to shop the world for potential extensions of Spain, he landed on an archipelago of suckers. The bronze natives immediately absorbed what much of the white aquilined-nosed "guests" taught. The bahag clad men and women readliy gave up their anitos and embraced the crusifix and kept their bahags in the attempt to dress in climte-inappropriate costumes.
Our affinity to the foreign is known throughout the world and history. Our ladies prefer to mate with foreigners over the native men since time immemorial producing our half breeds (which are readily absorbed by television or pageants or both). We might have been designed with a gene with an affinity for the exotic much to the extent that we had offered our country to the aliens in exchange for their identity.
Five hundred years and this trait has withstood time and change. TV still displays more soaps with unsynch dialogue and lip movement. We still fascinate ourselves of speaking foreign languages akwardly despite tha fact that we have a lot dialects available to learn (some are in the brink of extinction).
The age of colonialism and bulding empires might be over but it has been replaced with migration and immigration. Apart from technical terms nothing has actually changed. The Korean wave has hit the Philippines harboring more Koreans than any time in the past. Our cheap living cost and labor are ideal for these people. We see them on TV and we see them in the malls, I have suddenly wondered, have we become the strangers in the Philippine because this country's identity has some major issues. OK we have idolized Westerners since colonial times, why make a fuss over our Asian neighbors? One word-RUDE.
Davaoenos (can't we agree on a simpler term?) are known to be law abiders, so it cringes my soul when I saw on two occasions Koreans jay walking. It's a fuss having to wait for the traffic light for a go but we do it, but these 'lovers of pale-dom' treat our law as a mere joke. I know how they circumvent our immigration laws and fees coming here with student visas but are here to do more than just simple English learning - definitely way more. You can say :"Even Filipinos cheat a little, so what? Sassy girl is so cute, everyone of them represents sassy girl and that cute guy on TV". My behind! That wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. For more than a dozen times has their rudeness been reported on national news where they display there arrogance destructiveness after wine intoxication. The kids are known as little monsters in Philippine schools picking up fights with the naturaly placid and friendly Pinoy students. What's funny is, they have the guts to complain that our culture is incomprehensible and unreasonable. All of these we try to sweep under the rug with our world known patience.
We have embraced the foreigners with a blood compact, albeit Lapu-Lapu mercelessly killed them after being pissed. Enough of this delusion that the way of foreigners is better. I have been with them for more than a year and I have learned one good lesson, our culture is extremely better. Are you guilty as charged or have you smelled yourself? Has the scent of rotting fish lingered?

new zealand and australia info for nurses

A number of agencies, oh im sorry, "consultancies" have opened up for nurses for a temporary detour of over simmering piled up nurses due to the American retrogression. They either process your papers for New Zealand or Australia. Yes "mate" the salary is pretty close to American salaries and the length of time before you can actually hop with kangaroos or climb with the koalas is just less than a year compared to the 3-7 year waiting period for the USA. Interested?
I would like to tackle New Zealand first because this has started to tickle a lot of curiosities lately. New Zealand requires basically three things: a band score of 7 or higher in all parts of the IELTS, 5 months work experience. The beauty of the experience requirements is that it could be from all nursing fields from company nurse to school nurse to community nurse, even trainings. Best of all, the length of time can be comulated i.e. a 2 month training at DMC and a 3 month training at wherever. What's the third requirement? Oh nothing much, just 250,000-300,00 PHP. Whopping? Yeah, i know.
Why so much money? First, NZ (New Zealand) recognizes our RN license in the Philippines but only accepts our nurses if we undergo their bidging course. No exams necessary unlike the US but the course is 4-8 weeks and half of the fee is paid by you. Who pays the other half? Your employer does. "Good!", you might say but don't comment just yet. Most employers who sponsor your schooling fees are care homes or nursing homes and they require you to work in their institution for an agreed time (8-12 mohts usually and with pay of course) as payment for their "scholarship". A nurse in a care home receives a considerably lower amount of salary comapred to nurses in hospitals. After the agreed "tied-up" time, you are free to choose your employers.
Note though that since you go to NZ for a bridging course, you enter the country using a student visa and you need to go to proper authorities once you begin employment after finishing the course. After one pay slip, nurses are eligibe for permanent residency visas which gives you more benefits and can possibly give you access to applying to the US immigration in NZ.
"Wait, I heard of one who can let you go to NZ for PHP500,00++ even if your IELTS is below 7. Yes they can but not as a nurse. They send you as health care assistants. Health care assistants are a different kind of story. First and foremost, the occupation isn't that in demand for foreign nurses. It has been reserved for NZ natives called the Maoris. You pay twice as much as nurses because the employers who are willing to sponsor your schooling fees are scant. And since the job isn't hot, the chances for a permanent residency is slim. They say its a case to case basis, but are you willing to take that chance? In other words, after finishing your tied-up time, it's time to say goodbye.
If you actually think about it, the major disparity between the two is only because of one simple issue: your IELTS scores. "I can just go back to reviewing once I get there". Yeah right, and what about your job? Health care assistants are required to spend more energy that nurses do and the overtime is crazy. I know a lot who went there as such and their advice: Go to NZ as a nurse!
The second less popular but also gaining its own share of fame is Australia. Australia requires 7 on speaking and writing and a minimum of 6.5 in either listening or reading. The fun fact is that Australia is not a Republic and some laws are different in each state. Most states require 2 years experience and still employed from the time of application until approval. Queensland however doesn't require experience but you have to take an exam of four modules in Manila. If you fail a module, you can pay PHP40,000 per module to study again.
The expense is ranged from PHP250,000-PHP400,000 depending on the consultancy. The mechanics are fairly the same with NZ, you go there using student visa and undergo a bridging course (NZ and Ausi share a reciprocity in terms of Nurses, so once you are a nurse on one, you're a nurse on both) and can get employed after. One good thing is, you are'nt sponsored, so you can directly be employed as a nurse in a hospital.
Here are some important details for both oppurtunities. If you check the POEA for registration on these consultancies, chances are you can't find them in the roster. The law only requires recruitment agencies that hire directly and employ them directly. Since these offices only "proces" your papers so that you may study and then work in the said countries, no recruitment has taken place and no POEA required. So check their DTI or SEC or even Mayor's permit.
When you get there, you will of course study. You need daily allowance of 150 dollars a week to cover most of your expenses. Your course is 4-8 weeks, so do the math. No, they don't include your meal allowance in the expenses calculation.
After you study, there may be still be a waiting period of 10 days to 4 months before you can actually work. So you need to make sure you prepare cash for this period. You need roof and food don't you?
In a nutshell, ask about everything especially those questions your mom annoyingly asks you. This time, she's right and with the loudest "kaching-kaching" from her pocket you'll need, hell yeah

Have u just become an RN?

So you wanted to be rich and the only way according to your clan is to become a nurse abroad. So what if everyone you knew and don't know took up, is taking up, or will take up nursing? So what if the ratio of hospitals to nurses in your city is 11:9000? So what if the USA is having retrogression and will be having recession and the dollar has plumeted to a P40 low (have'nt we all wanted this to happen to the dollar anyway?) "I won't be affected anyway", you say. Nohohoh you won't. Yeah right!
So you passed the boards and your next step in your game plan is to take all those exams. Before you go on and take up all those hundred dollar tests, let me say a few to add some information that might proove helpful especially if your information is a blurr from friends who just heard from another friend's friend.
About NCLEX: If you plan to take NCLEX as the first round, here's the deal: Not all states provide a license after you pass the exams. A lot of American states require you a Social Security Number after passing the exam. Ok so if I pass the NCLEX, I need to get this SSNumber? It depends upon the state, but that is how it is. So what's the big deal about SSN? You can only acquire a Social Security Number if:(a) You are a citizen of the United States of America or (b) You are an immigrant. Note: NCLEX expires an average of 3 years, and the likelihood that you can enter America is 3-5 years. So if I take the NCLEX now, chances are it will expire before I step on the US or even before I get a US-RN license number? Uh huh. Wow, you're good in Math. But I already applied for NCLEX. You have three years to think upon how no one said this to you before or you can apply for a state reciprocity 6 months before your NCLEX expires to spare you from retaking the test. The fee would depend upon the state but it is a rough range of 250USD to 900USD. Still in a hurry to take the test?
About CGFNS: Not all states require CGFNS. If you plan to take CGFNS just so you can highten your market value, think again."That's ok I can just pair it up with my IELTS so I can have a CGFNS certificate and my IELTS, a lifetime validity". This arguement has three minor clarifications: One, Some US states do not require CGFNS certificate, rather a visa screen. Two, CGFNS certificate is now valid only until 5 years and not, as perviously, lifetime. Three, IELTS is only valid with CGFNS for five years in USA alone. For the rest of the English speaking countries e.g. Canada, Australia, New Zealand etc. IELTS has a validity of only two years regardless of a CGFNS or not. CGFNS was of course USA intended only.
About IELTS: As mentioned above, it's validity is only two years for other English speaking countries. So I should take it last? Contrary to popuar trends of making IELTS last on their list, the English test is better taken up first. "Duh, It's just English". Yeah, Duh. Before you go arrogant, the IELTS is not one easy test. It is designed in British English so there would be time to get to use to the litte difference as we are so accustomed in using American English. "I though it was just the accent" There are more differences in both language tah mere accents. That aside, one major thing about English tests is that it cannot be learned in six months time. Unlike Nursing exams, where you need to memorize terms and the lke, Tests of English do not need memorization rather a higher language skill which can only be honed through years of talking with native speakers. A nurse must score 7 in all 4 tests to gain a pass to all English speaking countires. If that's too much, have a 7 in at least your speaking so you cain gain access to some English speaking countries like the USA. In a nut shell, if you only get a 6 the moment you entered your revered review center, after 2 months, chances are you'd stll get a 6 at the actual test.
I know of a lot of people who retook IELTS three, four or even five times after successfuly passing all their US exams. What happened? Some ended up with all US exams expired and went back to space one of the game. The rest tried another strike of luck in another field. My advice, if you haven't begun yet, is to have yourself assessed by IELTS review centers. Most of them offer free assessment. If you find yourself lacking in the Englisg division, hone it first before you go "kaching" your bucks on all those other exams.
Other Choices: If you took up the IELTS, this gives you oppurtunity to other countries aside from USA. You need a "straight 7"(7 in all areas of IELTS) to be accepted though. If you have a spare 300-500 thousand PHP, you can enter either New Zealand or Australia in a matter of 5-9 months. "I've heard of a PHP500thou to New Zealand even if I dont have a straight 7" Hold your horses cow boy. There's more to it than you know. You can read it on my separate blog. But a straight 7 is the best, trust me.
If you are short on dough and summing up all your livestock and land still do not total to PHP300thou, there are other options. The salary isn't that big but considerably higher compared to the local hospitals. Stop thinking about Dubai they are not in dire need of our nurses, and Abu Dabi's salary is not PHP130,000 a month! Saudi Arabia is widely open to nurses with or without experience. If you have passed the boards 2 years ago or even a year ago, for only PHP25,000 you could be in Saudi in a matter of 2 months with a year contract or two.
Why am I doing this? beats me. If you question my credibility because you can still see me walking the streets of Davao, well it's up to you. You can check www.poea.gov.ph or the country's embassy websites. Just google it, or as we say yahoo it.

Anal Monologues

Back in fifth grade, when I was still a pudgy ball, we had a lady of a teacher, Prunella (not her real name. The orderly woman would always stress detergent-commercial-like neatness in class modeled by her wrinkle-free approach to almost anything. Anything within her ten meter radius would be stacked, piled and arranged into alphabetical,color coded order (well, not exactly that methodical but you get my point.
To complement her organized, Prunella airs poise even with the simplest act. Her head high walk is unique to her among the faculty. he would exhibit a choreogaphed walk that seems to require every bit of effort, but on the contrary its as natural to her as breathing. Even opening her orange tumbler would exude deportment and taking sips from the plastic is no exception. You can clad prunella in ballooned-skirt gowns and warp her in 18th-century England balls and she would instantly fit. You can just imagine her let go a restrained chuckle as the dukes and earls bombard her with diplomatic gags.
Indifferent as we may have been to her ettiquete, we were not spared as morning with her were neck vein distending. A common site in the morning would be students struggling to enunciate water as "woe-tuhr". Of course, there would always be mutants in a specie and on student became zombie to Prunella's school of thought:Sheronimo. It was known that Sheronimo had wrecked havoc using Prunella's infamous accent until his graduation-unsurprisingly as valedictorian,
For years, I was boggled how one could become plastic as plastic until Psychiatric lessons. Psychiatry describes Pruella as obsessive-compulsive (but not the disorder). Our neighbor, Freud, theorized that this has something to do with potty training. According to our neighbor, early and stringent toilet training can lead to a very rigid, perfectionist personlaity exemplified by exagerrated cleanliness and order. Yes, your arinola can greatly influence your individuality.
So what is the perfect toilet trained individual? Well its up to who gives definition to perection. If your idea of perfect is actually perfect then you now have the idea on how to train your kids (future or present). Grab the arinola and let it do its wonders.